Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize