Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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