just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
