I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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