we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
