worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
