Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
