There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
