I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
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I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.