I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.