But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.