please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
