Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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