I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
