And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
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My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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