is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize