every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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