Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
