So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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