I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Drunk is a universal language darling
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
