i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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