He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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