singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
