I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
