so that wasnt chicken after all
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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