your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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