Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
