God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
40s are totally the cure
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
