Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
