So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize