i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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