if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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