so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
