Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
