i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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