I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize