I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
