Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
