Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
