She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
