Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
