You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
