New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize