Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
