It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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