my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize