We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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