is this the sara with the beer cane?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So squirting runs in the family.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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