So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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