you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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