ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
