does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
