What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
