so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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