omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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