So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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