jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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