So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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