Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
