Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
