bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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