drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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