i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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