And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
