Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It was confusing and full of hummus
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
