Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
