mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
